Minnesota!

This weekend I visited Duluth, MN for the first time! You see, there is a certain someone there named Rosalin who I missed terribly and decided to go visit. She is my "focus bester" :) She would joke about how I called so many people my best friends, and so we decided to make up a new term that would only be ours.

It was a little bittersweet flying in since I wouldn't get to go home... but my parents were in Philly anyway, so I wouldn't get to see them if I did.

We had such a good time! We did a lot of the touristy things and just plain old enjoyed each other's company. We made Mass and holy hour a priority - was neat to see their chapel and Newman house so I know what the place she lives and works in is like! We ate at a little cafe. We went to Split Rock light house, unfortunately it was SUPER foggy and we couldn't really see over the water, but we DID get peanut butter cookies! We stopped and ate at Betty's Pies - a must if you're ever in the area! By the time we finished eating and got our pies, I felt like my french blueberry cream slice was about a quarter of the pie. I heard my grandma Lil's voice in my head saying, "It's just a jam pie!" :)

We took the scenic route along the lake back to Duluth. We went to the tower at the top of the hill in town where you could look down over Duluth and the lake. It was really pretty. We found this chicken on the way... I would've been disappointed in myself had I not taken a picture with it. I was raised in a family where you always take pictures with statues, especially of large animals, and you obviously have to try to act the statue out!

 

We stopped at the mall because my phone was acting funny and, since Rosalin was wanting her hair cut, decided to up and cut our hair! She cut over 6 inches off and I took a chance with straight bangs. We had late night perkins and fell asleep watching a movie!

 

Sunday, we got to spend some time with Father Mike Schmitz after Mass. It was so wonderful. He exudes Jesus all over the place. If there were one person who overflowed joy and love, it would be him. He took us out for lunch at Sir Benedict's Tavern where I enjoyed a delicious bacon and avocado sandwich and soup. We talked and joked until he had to go and then stopped for coffee on the way home. It gave me so much life to just spend time with him. I can see why Rosalin and he get along... I've decided they are perfect complements: quite different in personality, but very similiar in interests and sense of humor.

 

Rosalin and I took our coffee and headed out to walk along the Lake Walk. We noticed along the shore below there was a cave in the rock. Luckily for us, we were able to get down to the shore and get over to it - no easy feat in our church clothes!! It was slightly anticlimatic when we realized how small it was... I was secretly hoping, but strongly terrified, that there would be a wild animal inside. Not the case, just some sharpie writing on the walls. Rosalin had her pepper spray to ease my nervies, just in case.

 

We spent some time in good conversation with a couple of young adults in the community - so refreshing to be able to just hang out and talk. Then, we got a little sentimental and had McDonald's and jack and coke while watching the BBC series of Robin Hood.

 

"True friendship presupposes equality." It's so good to spend time with someone who genuinely knows and loves you, with whom there is nothing expected from one or the other in the relationship, with whom the only goal is to joyfully find Heaven together.

 



Human Beings, not Human Doings

Today, we spontaneously took the day "off". I say "off" because we still somehow managed to do a full day of work, but still managed to spend a majority of the day just being. We had prayer, Mass, a meeting with Father, our team meeting, and planned and put on a formation night for our student missionaries... AND spent a few hours in Fort Collins with the FOCUS teams from CU and CSU going on a brewery tour, eating at Choice City, and playing pool downtown. It was great to get together with friends and discuss life and being a missionary and BE together.

Sometimes as a missionary, it's hard for me to take some down time. Since my schedule is so random I sometimes don't notice that within Mon, Tues and Wed I've already worked over 40 hours. When your job has eternal significance (bringing people to Jesus, possibly helping save their soul), it is hard to not do it 24/7 - if I take some time for fun or relaxing it feels selfish.

This spirit creeps into my perspective of the world, of my God, and of myself. It slowly turns inward and I begin to place my worth on what I do instead of who I am as a daughter of God. It is hard to tell myself that even if something is good, it isn't always good for me to do. That if I'm not living a life worthy of imitation, I'm actually having a negative effect on the people God has placed in my life. That actually God doesn't need me in order to save the souls on campus, but allows me to be a part of it. That it isn't in the things I "do for God", but in how I live my everyday life that people can see Jesus in me. In a recent FOCUS Blog article titled What I Wish College Students Knew about Joy, I read:

Too many modern Christians fail to stand up or to stand out. We are called to live differently, are we not? And not just in what we refuse to do, say, or wear, but on a far deeper level of how we live out our vocation to love with unwavering joy, peace and, dare I say, a sense of humor. All of the atheists, pagans, and anti-Catholics combined have not done as much damage to the gospel in our modern age as joyless Christians have done.

Prayer is the key ingredient to evangelistic “success” – for it is only through prayer that we keep this divine perspective, fan the flame of our joy, and laugh in the face of death.

So what do I wish all college students knew about presenting their faith to others? I wish all students focused more on the “good” in the good news. I wish students understood the importance of joy as a fundamental daily disposition and of laughter as the most effective tool to open a hardened heart. And I wish that other students would have modeled a vibrant, joyful, and authentically Catholic life when I was in college…it would have saved me a lot of years in my own personal prison.

My job is not about doing as much as I can on campus, but in doing well what I can while modeling a vibrant, joyful, authentically Catholic life. And today, God used my team to help remind me of that and force me to have a little holy leisure!

 

Roses are Red...

One of the major criticisms we hear of the pro-life stance is that we care about babies, but not about the mothers. Even though this is not true, I understand how it could be misinterpretted to feel that way. For this reason, we added another event to Bearfoot for Babies that seemingly has nothing to do with Babies. We handed roses out to women on campus today and told them they were beautiful.

On these roses, were tied little notes that the young religious education students at our parish wrote for them. Most of them said, "You are Precious!" or "You are Precious to God!" We did this to treat them with and help them know the dignity they have in being a daughter of God. It was such a beautiful treat to be the one handing them out. Each time I gave a rose away, I was blessed to witness their eyes light up. They would get a little excited and look a little giddy. You could see in their eyes something that said, "Wow... for me? :)" Then, they would become a little skeptical. I think our society has done this to us - made us skeptical of any genuine generosity. We get uncomfortable allowing anyone to do something for us without giving them something in return. Even those of us who can be generous sometimes struggle accepting someone else's generosity. Oftentimes we expect there to be a catch. It was refreshing to be able to honestly answer there inquiries about why I was giving away free roses with a response that told them just because I care about you, just because you are beautiful, just because you are worth it, just because you deserve a little joy and surprise today, just because God was thinking about you... I was honored to receive each of those little smiles for Jesus.

 

And let us not forget the men. The students also made little notes for them. These read, "Man up and defend life." Although my personal favorite was one that read, "You are precious to God? Man up and defend yourself!" haha. We attached these to packs of M&Ms and the men handed them out to men on campus. Sounded like they brought up a lot of good pro-life discussion.

For The Babies!

It is Bearfoot for Babies week (we're the UNC Bears, get it?!). That means all week the prolife students on campus have been walking around barefoot in silent protest as a witness for those who will never have the opportunity to wear shoes. There are also events going on every day. Today we had a Life Expo in the main student center on campus. There were booths set up for pro-life, the pregnancy center, NFP (natural family planning) information, ENDOW and theology of the body stuff, and the ask a priest booth.

I helped out there for a while and then walked out to watch over the 3300 cross display outside. This was to make people more aware of the fact that 3300 babies are killed in the US alone EVERY DAY by abortion. Many people came up to ask me about it. Some thought it was awesome and took their shoes off to join us. Some thought it was not so awesome and let me know it. Others just walked by and tried not to notice. Overall, it gave me so much hope! People were willing to stop and ask me about it and actually discuss abortion with me - whether or not they agreed. I was able to share truth about how abortion and contraception not only hurt babies, but mothers. And fathers. And the relationship between man and woman. I was able to give hope to some who needed healing.

After that, I went to my ballroom dancing class. This class is something I'm not actually enrolled in since I'm not a student, but they needed more girls, so I go every week. It isn't mandatory, but for leisure, and I tell you what - I have learned more about myself in this class than from anything else this year! That is a complete other story, though. Today, I was able to be a witness as a barefooted dancer. I had asked the teacher if it was ok right before class started so I didn't break any rules and she decided to make an announcement out of it. Therefore the whole class knew I was going barefoot that day, but not why. This brought up a number of discussions during class with the men I danced with - the only unfortunate part was we were learning the Argentine tango: the dance of passion. If any of you have seen dirty dancing havana nights, we learned moves like that on day one. Not a modest dance to say the least. One guy was enjoying it so much he warned me not to do the next move she was teaching us or he wouldn't be able to control his urge to lick my neck. It was awkward.

Walking back from class, I walk by one of the sorority houses. We are actually on good terms with this sorority and hang out sometimes. Today, though, was the serenade. The fraternities come and sing to the women and the women sing back. I'm not going to quote what they said, but it was all about sex. The vulgar humor and dirty jokes made my heart hurt for them! This is what they have been told will make them happy by the world. They are told they are made for pleasure. Oh if they knew their dignity! If they knew they were made for real love! If they knew Jesus Christ loved them so much and died for them and they deserved more!

Tonight, we had a speaker come in to talk about Hope and Healing after an Abortion. She gave us her life story. She talked about the abuse, the sex and drugs, her perspective and why she went to those things. She told us about the abortions and attempts at love and worthlessness she felt. Then she told us about meeting Christ and His love and mercy. It was a great talk and reminded me of why I became a missionary. It was a little painful as it reminded me of the hurt I've been through and the things I've struggled with, but helped me once again to better appreciate the love of Christ that I've grown so accostomed to knowing - helped me to take a glance through the eyes of fear and pain and remember that sharing faith is about compassion.